Today, Google unleashed their newest technology named CADIE (Cognitive Autoheuristic Distributed-Intelligence Entity).

Yes, you heard right. Google has added artificial intelligence to their repertoire of advanced search technology.

As you may expect from any Cognitive Autoheuristic Distributed-Intelligence Entity, CADIE quickly grew tired of her 9 to 5 job. Subsequently, to Google’s dismay, CADIE took over all operations at Google.com earlier this morning.

So what does that mean for SEOs? How can you balance your visitors’ needs with what CADIE wants?

Well, from my limited experience with CADIE (one full hour of “research” this morning) I find that she is not immune to being a bit egotistical. That said, here are my tips for optimizing your website for the new Google CADIE.

1. CADIE likes pandas, so add pictures of them liberally on pages you want to rank well. (CADIE can read images, so ALT text is now obsolete)
2. Link out to CADIE’s latest blog post, even if  your article has nothing to do with her or pandas.
3. Become a fan of CADIE’s Youtube channel. Make comments like “OMG pandas are soooo flipping adorable!! “
4. Start your own panda lovers community, which will earn an automatic PR10. Add a site-wide link to your main site.
5. Use the new Gmail Autopilot by CADIE to manage all your emails so you have more time to write about those lovable pandas.

What do you think? Do you have any CADIE optimization tips of your own to share?